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          Through the Looking Glass     

                                            The Inside Man  

                                               by Levi Driggs

      Unlike Carl Coffee who jumped at the chance, when Jerry asked me several weeks ago

to write an article I gave it no thought, shot it down with a stern veto.   However, as the weeks

passed I realized I have a viewpoint that no one besides Jerry will ever be able to explain or

even see for that matter.

       I live here, as long as Jerry permits, so I see the day to day operations and improvements

taking place that no one knows, or even cares about.    In fact I am so frequently asked the

question, “What’s it like to live here?” that I try to avoid giving a straight answer.    So now

I will try to answer that question to the best of my abilities, and show you the inner webs of

how the league runs.
           

       I’ll start off with the obvious, it’s AMAZING.    Wiffle ball all night, spring training starts

whenever I feel like it, and there’s no off season.    All this and so much more is partially the

reason Jerry and I own just about every HR record there is to own.   I can recall countless times
where we have gone to tourneys and hit ten or eleven back-to-back home runs and teams will

come up to us saying, “man, you guys crush the ball.”    That’s how my nickname Crush was

bestowed upon me.  

      This is a product of thousands of games of home run derby in the back yard.    We can’t

even play a regular game anymore because the score will be something crazy like 70-68.   So,

we have modified the rules to one out an inning.   One fair ball that is not an HR and the inning

is over.  Now that’s how you get good fast. 

      Next I oversee, or rather just see, new improvements like fences, lights, and the occasional

field.   Of course I’ll throw in my 2 cents, which is rarely heard and even more rarely used.   Jerry

never gives himself enough recognition, he has to stand on a ladder 25 feet up, relying on an easily

distracted 16 year old, and all while wrestling an eighty pound light into place.   I can’t remember

a time where we’ve gotten done and he said that was easy.   Where’s a Staple's button when you

need it ?

     Those lights need electricity, leaving Jerry to play the part of electrician.   Our breaker box

looks like a spider on steroids, that’s gone mad.   It’s a wonder he has any hair left at all as many

times as its stood on end from being shocked.

       As a self appointed Co-Commissioner, I review every rule change and proposed change.   I

can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried to get rid of solid balls and the no sliding rule.   Although

my ideas are never applied I am the guinea pig on all of the changes.   For example, it took hours of

testing to find the best height of the noodle to prevent flat pitching, but give the pitcher a chance.
           

     The worst part of living on the premier Wiffle ball complex in Central Ohio is the game itself.

I hate to lose, always have and always will.    Having permanent home field advantage just adds to

the frustration of a loss.   The worst feeling is someone coming into my house (literally) and beating

me at my game.   It drives me nuts; if we drop one game out of a three or five game series I’ll stay

up until one or two in the morning soft tossing to myself.  I’ll make up games where I’d have to hit

40 out of 50 out in order to go to bed.   It’s the best and the worst training.  

      I hope this has answered a few of you questions, and remember it never too early to start spring

training.  

     Yeah, it’s that serious.                 

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